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  • Writer's pictureLauren Douglass

How do you STOP being lonely in leadership?

Updated: Dec 9, 2021

2 Words:

Team Creation.

Most problems in business originate with people.

The people you surround yourself with will uplift or downgrade, and this goes for employees, partners, friends and personal relationships. These are your teams.

When I start working with new clients, this is a glance at the first three sessions…

Session #1:

I’ll ask a series of questions to identify key relationships. I do not spend a lot of time in the past, but I do need to know where to begin.

Session #2:

I teach subtle differences to help you identify those with toxic behaviors associated with covert /overt narcissism and other Cluster B disorders. I’ll provide independent reading.

Session # 3:

The next conversation usually starts like this, “Lauren, it’s what I’ve been going through with them. What can I do?”

This is where the work begins.

I’ve been coaching for years now. The structure has become predictable. It is sacred work to me.

I cannot stress enough how common these relationship dynamics are. Many are suffering in silence on both sides. Narcissism most likely develops from childhood trauma. Both sides have been victimized, but it doesn’t mean people are allowed to continually hurt you. There are specific strategies to implement.

Narcissism has sub-types and is on a sliding scale. Those with high narcissistic levels benefit from empathy development and those with low levels benefit from self-focus. The point is to get closer to the center where personal drive and empathy meet.

Goals of this work:

1. Build an unshakeable leadership team with people who can count on each other if the chips fall.

2. Use discernment in personal relationships.

3. Confidently ask for help.

4. Say no without fear.

5. Discover joy by driving the business without it driving you.

What I promise to you…

1. I will not judge you.

2. I will earn your trust.

3. I will not judge you - (in case you missed it). This work calls for the exact opposite in me.

Here’s what I’ll expect from you…

1. Honesty. I can’t help if you hide.

2. Integrity: Maybe a few tears which are the body’s natural response to stress. They clear old energy. No self-judgement please.

3. Permission to outgrow old beliefs. You can take it back at anytime if you need to.

Some of your current relationships may stay, some may go and some will be added. You will choose each.

This is an abbreviated look at what takes a minimum of a year in process, but I’ve seen the same results in many. Again, this is sacred work to me.

Emotional resilience is needed to build organizations with trusting, high performing teams, and it can be very hard during some days; but it is worth it for all parties involved.

Leadership will open up in a new way to one without constant anxiety. From a place of internal safety, there begins creation of deep connections with others who want to and can do the same.

Most importantly, please know you are not alone. It just feels that way right now.

I took this photo somewhere when I was between two places. I have now arrived at my destination.

A rainbow is a sign of support. God showed Noah a rainbow after he survived the storm. It was God’s promise to never put Noah through it again. It just so happens my bracelect is a wave.

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